laughs

the moment i open my eyes, i wake from a dream of not dreaming,

and fall into a mire of abyss. people there, laughing with reckless

abandon. a few souls are scorched by the flames,

and I realize—the sound of rage is so absurd, so mocking, so loud.

grains of fragments fall, bit by bit, into the boundless wasteland,

waves of sound surge and swirl around me, swallowing me whole. i

can only run, but i cannot escape. sharp, shrill waves of sound crash against me,

leaving only deafening silence, a hollow void.

quietude turns my tears to dust, and the blood clots beneath

my skin. no matter how far i run, i always return to that

barren land, a single dead tree barely standing

i lift my eyes, and the sky is still the same— neither gray nor white,

a void has been drilled into the very spot where the sun once stood.

blinding white perhaps the light

of a lost home. i stand alone on the vast, empty canvas,

only a few silhouettes of dead branches

carve through the pale gray, like scars left by a blade. the sun—

lingers— distant, faint.

why it is so relentlessly heartless? so cold that it leaves us scorched.

i stare into the hollow void, dizzy from its emptiness.

The cracked earth sinks beneath me, as if I descend, layer by layer,

down an endless, spiraling staircase,

a labyrinth with no beginning or end.

i remain, suspended in place, while fires from abyss burn on. i —

ha… only long for a cup of water.

june 15, 2024